mardi, avril 04, 2006

Send Couric as Far Down the Dial as Possible

There are many things that are just not news.

My first job out of college was working for an unnamed news wire service. I quickly learned the connotation of Importance.

And there are some news stories that I avert my attention from as quickly as I can. Katie Couric's move is one of them. CBS is the bottom of the news barrel if you ask me. It's a good place for her to be.

Personal Story. True story, too. In 2002 I was in New York for a long weekend with a long time, now ex-boyfriend who was crazy about The Shoe Dangler. The Perky One. He was dying to be outside Dean & DeLuca to see the Today show's outside segments and hopefully get a glimpse of her.

I had no interest, but with this man, if mama ain't happy...ain't no one happy.

We stood in the four people-deep crowd at Rockefeller center. He was craning to see Miss Katie and because we agreed to never separate while in New York, I stayed close by.

"Can you see? Can you see her?"

"Can you???"

"No"

"Well here..."

"No, really, it's alright - you look"

This does not work. I feel arms around my hips and suddenly, a short fluffy blonde emerges above the crowd. Katie Couric's head follows this hoisting movement and I am looking down on The Perky One.

Oh yes, he did.

Couric's brow furrows and she puts her mike in her other hand and "shoos" me down. Her lips purse together in frustration. I lean forward, trusting that the spaghetti armed man hoisting me up can handle the shift in weight. I never lost my eye contact with her as I leaned forward - and I stuck as much of my tongue out as far as I could. And, at the time I had a tounge piercing and the day before bought the nastiest toungue ring I could find in the East Village. She did not back down, my formidable opponent. The glare emanating from her was a sight to behold. I don't think I could match it if I tried. She has officially raised the bar of bitchy glaredom. She is the Barry Bonds of the bitchy glare.

My family has some sense of pride in me. I've accomplished many things they have not. But all of my accomplishments in life apparently pale in comparison to irritating Miss Couric.

I still laugh every time I see her :P

7 Comments:

Blogger JAF said...

Good one.

7:43 PM, avril 04, 2006  
Blogger Nick said...

Absolutely excellent. Though I have to say, for a long time I had a crush on her... but then again... I always kept her on mute. I don't think I could deal with her if I had to hear her actually express her opinions knowing what her politics are.

9:52 AM, avril 05, 2006  
Blogger Phelony Jones said...

I love the mute button personally. If I had a true universal remote and could invoke the mute function at any time in life, I would have it made :)

Like um... Feingold. Teddy K. My oldest brother...

4:23 PM, avril 05, 2006  
Blogger Chris said...

the Barry Bonds of Bitchy Glare Wow now I have to go clean up the soda I sprayed when I read that, very nice post.

5:20 PM, avril 06, 2006  
Blogger Phelony Jones said...

Yeah she hit that one out of the park :) Kayakers and all.

8:53 PM, avril 06, 2006  
Blogger Chris said...

PJ I have something at Spotted Horse in your honor ;)

10:02 AM, avril 07, 2006  
Blogger Phelony Jones said...

lmao - that was pretty good!

4:06 PM, avril 07, 2006  

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