mercredi, décembre 27, 2006

There's No Opportunist Like an Opportunist....

Many of you know him as the Breck Girl. And really, the man wears more hairspray than any woman I ever met. It can only get worse tomorrow in New Orleans, where the humidity can dismantle and curl even the most antihumectant hairspray-coated locks.

So John Edwards is going to announce how wonderful he is tomorrow as he stands on a pile of rubble in New Orleans. Now, one of his advisors leaked this today, so they aren't the smartest bunch (think back to the Walmart Playstation debacle). But please please please don't lead them on to this one: that like, every nitwad in the world - including both Brad Pitt AND Ray Nagin - have all like, made appearances and announcements and stuff from New Orleans. Because they're all totally more smart and chi-chi than we are and we probably won't know that or something...we'll just believe them that they're really cool.

With any luck, one of those boards will bear a tetanus-laden rusty nail...

Or with any more luck, Rep Kessler will just make an announcement after Edwards, stating that because Edwards doesn't stand any chance of his campaign dollars actually getting used in a manner that will help him WIN, that perhaps he should just give it up to the state. He can keep a few bucks for administrative costs like hair spray, but even the trailerest of those of us on one end of Two Americas knows that humidity ain't a lady's best friend.



I wonder if he ever feels fat...

9 Comments:

Blogger Neo-Con Tastic said...

He's a sleaze bag but I disagree with you here:

"And really, the man wears more hairspray than any woman I ever met."

Haven't you met PJ?

8:12 PM, décembre 27, 2006  
Blogger Phelony Jones said...

The socks up to his neck make up for it. ;)

8:27 PM, décembre 27, 2006  
Blogger sliverthetomcat said...

LOL! Where have you been Neo-Con we have missed you! :)

8:37 PM, décembre 27, 2006  
Blogger Nick said...

You have to a bit more about the strategery of the situation there Phel...

You want a few heavy hitters to battle it out... otherwise Hilary will saunter out of the primary unscathed. Edwards is just the type of hitter you want duking it out. It'll be the battle of the hair spray king against the chiwowow haired wonder woman.

9:22 PM, décembre 27, 2006  
Blogger Kate said...

I wonder how many blisters he got shoveling the bs? :/

10:50 PM, décembre 27, 2006  
Blogger TC said...

He's a white Obama. Obama's got more mojo.

10:51 PM, décembre 27, 2006  
Blogger Phelony Jones said...

"Edwards is just the type of hitter you want duking it out. It'll be the battle of the hair spray king against the chiwowow haired wonder woman."

I don't know, Nick, I think the bite's worse than the bark...she'll rip the pair right off Edwards!

(or as they'd say on Cute Overload - "Baroo?")

10:55 PM, décembre 27, 2006  
Blogger Nick said...

I suppose that's true Phel. But think about it... wouldn't the site of John Edwards' barely useful pair hanging from Hilary's teeth be worth the price of admission?

8:07 AM, décembre 28, 2006  
Blogger K. Carpenter said...

Did you see him licking his lips at the end of this thing? What a riot!

Really, someone should have given him some lip gloss for Christmas.

3:17 PM, décembre 29, 2006  

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