dimanche, février 25, 2007

The Oscars, Gross

Look Ma, I'm Blogging.....

I'm actually just leaving the TV on while I'm doing MRQ and of course the TV keeps interrupting my thoughts. Thoughts like these:

Al Gore - where was the cutoff music for the past 20 years? We could have used it a long time ago.

Cameron Diaz is not pretty. Period.

Most of these people are giant jackasses. Including Ben Affleck

Mark Wahlberg is no where near as talented - or hot - as his older, more accomplished brother Donnie. Besides, an overproduced remake of Good Vibrations can never, ever compare to "Step by Step"

It's amazing that the academy would highlight the stark contrast between the Golden Age of cinema and current day. I don't even think they knew they were doing it.

The two babes who presented the award for best costume were dressed heinously. Those dresses were illegal. They should have hired me.

more to come, I'm sure....

In case of the slim chance you'll win an Oscar, you might want to learn English. Or at least fake a clear enunciation.

Tom Cruise, you're useless. It doesn't matter that you're short - there are tons of hot, short guys. You however, are washed up, empty, and a waste of airtime and violate my span of attention. Now get off my lawn.

Ah, Gwinnie Paltrow. The graduate of the Karenna Gore Simpering Princess School of acting...

There is a director who looks remarkably like a showered, somewhat sane and respectable and of course NOT lice-infested Michael Moore. I know it's hard to imagine, folks. The visual helped.

Right now, it's 55 degrees in Death Valley.

As of 9:17, Pete Fanning has visited this site 13 14 times today.

I miss pizza.

Robert Downey Jr. hasn't put himself out of my misery yet. But he sure looks like he's on something...

How did Nicole Kidman make her neck disappear?

Cate Blanchette looks outstanding.

Not much can top an Irish accent.

Oh for the love of God. Not George Clooney.

Plus, Jennifer Hudson. I mean good for her. But how can you thank God, say God bless, and then say, "Oh My God"???

"In case you were wondering where Jerry Seinfeld has been..." No as a matter of fact, I KNOW where Jerry Seinfeld has been. He's been hiding from the fallout of defending a racist ranter.

Pardon me while I hit the mute button. There is no room in my life to be preached to by Al Gore.

Hooray! Gustavo Santoalalla! He is a genius!

As if I wasn't already out of steam... it's J. Lo.... and the dreamgirls

Melissa Etheridge is even more tiring. She has no idea what "inspiring" means. And no honey, we don't need another generation to "change the world". Y'all f'd it up the first time, so please, take your bald man and sit down....

Update: I agree with Jib. It IS insufferable. It's also a stark reminder of how important it is for us normal people to understand that our perceptions of reality are valid and real. And, it's a comical contrast.

Kate Winslet. Classic. Scarlett Johansen is a mockery of class compared to Kate.

WTF! Didn't this Philip Michael Thomas take a shower? Sober up?

Excellent - Helen Mirren. Next time leave your purse at your seat honey.

Now a word from our sponsor. Using an excellent, classic song by the Pogues.

Forrest Whittaker lost me... what was that.

Diane Keaton looks fantastic

The Departed wins. I have no idea if it would be worth the 9.50 to see. If it has Leonardo DiCrappio I'll pass.

Alright. No more feisty left in me, the cold has taken care of that. nite all.

Libellés :


Blogger Pete Fanning said...

I have no life, I admit it....I troll for updates all day long....plus...I was genuinely concerned for your well being....

Don't turn your bullshit meter on...I WAS!

4:43 AM, février 26, 2007  
Blogger mavprops said...

the departed is definitely worth seeing. I saw it twice in the theatre, and twice on dvd.

6:41 AM, février 26, 2007  
Blogger Nick said...

Were the Oscars on last night? I was watching Dirty Jobs... much more entertaining.

8:19 AM, février 26, 2007  
Blogger sliverthetomcat said...

I watched most of the awards and all that I honestly remember is "My good God Leonardo DiCaprio is one good looking man!"

11:45 AM, février 26, 2007  
Blogger still Unreal... said...

A) According to all the boot-lickers there, Al has been warning us about Global Warming for the last 30 years….it should become obvious any minute now..
B) No, Diaz is certainly not pretty.
C) Calling Ben Affleck a jackass is like…calling a fish wet.
D) Donnie/Markie…so if either fell off the face of the camera…
E) I would say the 2 heinously dressed babes were committing a Phelony, but that would be all kinds of wrong, I know ;-)
F) From the “Oh no, she di’int!!” department: Leave Ennio alone, Phel. Legend and Italian…I could only dream. Besides, Clint did a less than adequate job of translating…he was much sweeter to his wife – which is why I think he did it. The 3-way(!!) duel scene in “The Good, the Bad….” is, by far, one of the highest tension scenes in cinema…thanks to the music.
G) Tom/TomKat: useless. Agreed.
H) “Oh no, she di’int!!” – Part deux: Never disrespect the Nicole.
I) Cate Blanchette: growing on me (by the way, am I the only one who thinks she resembles Tilda Swinton?)
J) I didn’t care what song won. I have no intention of seeing “Dreamgirls.” However, after watching the insipid crap passed as music by the other finalists and watching the “Dreamgirls” absolutely bring down the house with serious, serious talent, all I can say is: what a jip. I cant wait to see “Dreamgirls.” And yes, I have seen Melissa in concert; it was quite good. Scary crowd. But good.
K) Last point: Helen Mirren. Still bringin’ it at that age. Good for her.

Phel, thanks for letting me rant. I just happened to be here ‘cause I was putting off blogging the Gore crap-a-rama.

1:36 PM, février 26, 2007  
Blogger Phelony said...

Rants? That's what this place is (kinda) here for!

And ftr: I wasn't aiming my comment at Ennio. There was another person who I could hardly understand. I mean I give her points for trying because I also speak a second language and it can be difficult, but I had no idea where she was going with what she was going with. Plus, I was exercising my constitutional right to be bitchy.

Sliver, Leonardio DiCrappio? He's as bad on the eyes as he is as an actor! Pleah!

But I may well see the movie, since Mav gives it two props up.

1:47 PM, février 26, 2007  
Blogger sliverthetomcat said...

"The Nicole" needs to gain some damn weight, seriously.

7:57 PM, février 26, 2007  
Blogger Phelony Jones said...

I say let'r be as skinny as she wants to be :)

8:12 PM, février 26, 2007  
Blogger still Unreal... said...

The Nicole has been fantabulous-looking since even before "Far and away."
In this case, dont hate the player - hate the game.

1:42 PM, février 27, 2007  
Blogger sliverthetomcat said...

Oh please Still Unreal admit that the woman looks like a pretzel stick.

5:05 PM, février 27, 2007  
Blogger Real Debate said...

Mmmmmmm pretzels.

11:08 AM, février 28, 2007  
Blogger still Unreal... said...

Ce commentaire a été supprimé par l'auteur.

2:44 PM, février 28, 2007  

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