dimanche, novembre 02, 2008

On Female Friendships


As I grow older, I find it more and more important to have female friendships. It's very easy to be friends with men, however, because we are of the opposite sex and sometimes an imbalance of expectations, those friendships seldom last.

It's easy to default to what appears to work. Appear being the key word. But in the long run, a woman needs her female friends. These friendships require a lot more maintenance, consideration, expression, validation and respect. They are not easy to navigate but they are worth it. How so, Phel?

Women need to express themselves - especially in crisis or situations of heartbreak - in a way that is natural to them. Sometimes this can be accomplished with opposite sex friendships, but most of the time it cannot. At the crux of the matter is the way women communicate. We need the emotional support and navigation that only female friendships can provide. We need our sisters.

Now if you think governmental politics are tough to navigate, then you haven't been a woman trying to be friends with other women. Yes, it's about the same level of difficulty. Luckily, we can actually get bipartisan support in the end and true collaboration. Changing babies, late night tears, misinterpreted messages, and retail therapy. God granted the sanctity of the female friendship for this.

One thing I have had to learn recently as I strengthen my female bonds, is the respect I must have for them. Especially the consequences of my actions, which can be misinterpreted very easily with almost no chance to retract. A friendship can be easily sabotaged by actions that you think do not have consequences, yet they do, and they are hard to predict unless you are paying very close attention.

I'm ready to do that now. I'm ready to be one of the girls.

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